Hic!-Una Matata
by Fox Teen
Summary: Simba develops an uncontrollable case of hiccups. Will they go by the help of Timon the "hiccup expert"?


It was a fine day in the jungle. Simba, Timon and Pumbaa were strolling through the trees when they came across an anthill.

"Well, lookie here," remarked Timon. "Some fresh tiny bugs awaiting this empty belly over here."

"Err, Timon," said Pumbaa guilty. "I ate from that yesterday."

"D'oh, Pumbaa," moaned Timon. "You're eyes are bigger than your belly!"

"The yare?" asked Pumbaa. "But eyes are the size of marbles."

"It's a figure of speech!" snapped Timon.

"UUUUURRRRRRRP!"

Pumbaa's belch threw Timon Headfirst into a tree.

Simba laughed his head off rolling about on the floor.

"How would you like to be in my feet here?" scolded the dizzy meerkat.

"I'm sorry! HAHAHAHAAAA!" cried Simba with laughter. "Bit this was so sudden! HAHAHAHAH-HIC!"

Simba stopped laughing immediately.

"What's wrong, kid?" asked Timon.

"Err, nothing," said Simba, worriedly. He knew he made a hiccup and he hopped it was only that. "HIC!"

Simba stuffed his paw into his mouth.

Timon spitted out in laughter. "Hahahaaaaa! A King of the Beasts with hiccups! Who'd ever have thought it!"

But Pumbaa went over to the cub that was letting loud hiccups out form his mouth.

"Don't worry, Simba," said Pumbaa consolably. "We've all had the hiccups."

"Never had them –HIC!- this bad though have you?" said Simba glumly.

"Sure I did," said Pumbaa. "When…. when….err, I don't think I ever had them as bad as that."

Simba sighed, hiccupping.

Timon laughed again.

"Are you - HIC! – done laughing?"

"Are you done hiccupping?" chuckled Timon.

"I wish I was," remarked Simba.

"Well kid, you are talking to the expert of hiccup cures right here," the meerkat boasted proudly.

"Okay, - HIC!," said Simba. "What do you have in – HIC! – mind?"

They took Simba to a clear pond.

"Keep drinking and drinking and drinking and drinking and drinking until I tell you to stop. Kapiesh?" said Timon.

Simba let out a hiccup and began drinking. But he could no longer take much more even when Timon told him to not stop and keep going. Simba eventually gave up.

"I'm – HIC! – full!" he complained.

"Well it was worth trying," said Timon smiling grumpily at his failed cure.

"Why not try holding your breath until nightfall?"

"Is that possible?" criticized Pumbaa.

"Anything is possible if thought by Timon," said Timon.

"I'll – HIC! – just hold my breath for as long as I can," said Simba and he took a deep breath and held it. After ten seconds, he exhaled.

"How do you feel, kid?" asked Pumbaa.

"HIC!" went Simba before he could say anything.  
"Expert of - HIC! – hiccups, huh?" criticized Simba, looking disappointedly at Timon.

"None of my friends ever had hiccups until now," said Timon. "Go easy on me."

Simba was next order to sing a song.

 _HIC! – una Matata_

 _What a – HIC! – wonderful phrase_

 _HIC! – una Matata_

 _Ain't no – HIC! – passin' craze_

Timon was deep in thought. He ordered Simba to open his mouth. He looked deep inside the back of Simba's mouth. It stretched from the next hiccup he gave.

"Maybe a few grubs would stop what seems to be a frog in your belly."

"He swallowed a frog?" panicked Pumbaa.

"No!" said Timon, "when you see hiccups as if a frog is trapped inside you."

Simba ate a few grubs, but they didn't result anything.

Eventually, they all got ready for bed, Pumbaa lying on his back in his bed, Simba resting ontop of his round belly, with Timon resting against him.

"Good – HIC! – night," said Simba miserably.

"Sleep tight," said Timon glumly.

"Dream of bed bugs tonight," and he drifted off.

Simba put a paw around Timon. But the cub's loud hiccups echoed through the night air and Timon couldn't cover his ears because they were tightened in Simba's grasp.

The sun eventually rose, Simba's hiccupping served as wakeup call to many birds and monkeys.

Timon's opened his bloodshot eyes.

"I think I'm having a nightmare," he moaned. "Simba is still hiccupping."

"It's not a nightmare, Timon," said Simba. "I am still HIC!-upping. HIC! HIC! HIC!"

…

In an open spot of the jungle, Timba told SImba to lie on his back. He jumped onto his belly but was bounced off when the cub's belly inflated like a frog's throat from a hiccup. Timon tired to jump back on but was bounced by another hiccup and then another and then another.

"What exactly-HIC!-are we doing? HIC!" asked Simba.

"Removing your tonsils," said Timon. "I am trying to give you a belly tickle so your hiccups will be laughed out."

This time, Timon didn't jump onto his belly; he just stood by the side and started tickling him with his fingers. Simba laughed and squealed hysterically about and Timon finally hopped onto his belly as though the hiccups were starting to give in.

Eventually, Timon stopped.

They waited for twenty seconds and they smiled.

"HIC!"

Simba's belly bounced Timon off it again and he went headfirst into a tree. His head spun and he felt as if he was lying down on the ground. He was. He saw Pumbaa standing over him with a full-grown lion by his side.

"Pumbaa!" he cried. "Who is this?"

"HIC!" went the lion.

"It can't be Simba," said Timon horrified.

"It is," said the lion proudly. "All grown up and still-HIC!-hiccupping."

Timon looked in horror.

"I'm-HIC!-starving," said the lion rubbing his belly. "Let's go slurp some snails! HIC! HIC!" and he ran off with Pumbaa.

Next thing Timon knew, he was in their bed, Simba holding them in each paw.

"Good-HIC!-night," said Simba.

"Sleep tight," said Timon worriedly.

"Dream of bed bugs tonight," said Pumbaa and he instantly dozed off.

Simba's face was in Pumbaa's direction and he shot loud hiccups right in Timon's face. He tried to escape by was clamped tight by the paw and he couldn't escape. Suddenly, he realized he was old, and so where the other two and Simba was still hiccupping!

Timon!

Ti-HIC!-mon, wake up!

He looked at Simba.

"Kid," he said seriously. "I have just seen the future. You will keep hiccupping even when you get your mane unless we do something about them. We need to think of more cures and fast!"

And so they did for Simba: pulling faces at moneys only get bananas in the face, eating honey only to get a stomachache, riding on an ostrich only to get flown off, standing on his head only to fall sideways and trying to roar which made his hiccups more rapid.

"HIC! HIC! HIC! HIC! HIC! HIC!"

Simba slumped miserably onto a rock, not caring about each time he hiccupped. Timon ad Pumbaa watched their friend in syoathy. Suddenly, Pumbaa had an idea.

"You couldn't come up with an idea to catch a fly with a venus flytrap," chuckled Timon.

Pumbaa ignored his friend's insult and whispered into his ear. Timon's eyes widened in horror.

"No way!" he snapped. ""Anything but that!"

"But think of what you saw in the future, Timon."

Timon sighed and said, "Oh, alright. But just this once!"

Simba finally got up and when to look for his two friends. He went around the corner to find Pumbaa sitting down curled up with an apple in his mouth with Timon dressed in what looked like a hula costume.

 _Huau!_

 _If you're hungry for a hunk of fat and juicy meat_

 _Eat my buddy Pumbaa here because he is a treat_

 _Come on down and dine_

 _On this tasty swine_

 _All you have to do is get in line_

 _Aaaare you achin'_

 _(Yup, yup, yup)_

 _Foooor some bacon?_

 _(Yup, yup, yup)_

 _Heeee's a big pig_

 _(Yup, yup)_

 _You could be a big pig too._

 _Hoy!_

Simba burst into a hysterical fit of laughter, rolling about on the floor.

"Just don't get uses to it," said Timon grumpily. "And quit all that laughing. That's what started those hiccups in the first place."

Simba finally stopped at Timon's words. The waited for twenty whole seconds, then thirty then forty, then fifty.

"They're gone," said Simba happily. "My hiccups are gone! Thanks, guys!"

"No problem, kid!" said Pumbaa proudly.

"Don't get used to – Err, I mean yeah of course. After all, I am the hiccup expert around here."

Simba hugged both his friends. They decided to celebrate by swimming in the sun and dining on the finest grubs.

That night, Simba lay on Pumbaa's belly with Timon tucked into his paw.

"Goodnight," said Simba.

"Sleep tight," said Timon.

"Dream of bed bugs tonight!" said oumbaa before he dramatically feel into a deep sleep, followed by Simba.

Timon sighed happily resting into the lion cub's fur when suddenly, "Hic!"

It came from his own mouth! He groaned as it repeated.

The next morning, Simba and Pumbaa found Timon in a deep sleep hiccupping.

"My hiccups couldn't be contagious could they?" wondered Simba.

"Who cares?" said Pumbaa happily. "Let's let this hiccup expert figure it out himself while we go sample some ants."

Simba chuckled.


End file.
